Useless? Meeee??!!!

Uselessness. My sole motivation to start up my own blog..
Despite of being jobless for now almost 2 years, i wonder why i never tried blogging. My belief- This will surely kill time. :)

I am a journalist by profession. Well kind of, I freelance actually. But it isn't really considered a REAL JOB by people who are more stable and settled professionally. I wonder why. I mean, Ultimately it's all about surviving, eh?

Survival is such a cruel word.. It makes you face the realities.. Damn it reality! Reality is a bitch!

Off topic.

Any who, like any other morning I was supposed to submit an article by 12 today, when my mum stepped in  my room with a large carton of Real juice (Guava flavor, I hate it)

Me(puzzled)- what's with the juice? I just had milk.

Maa(teary eyed)- Have it and tel me what have you decided ultimately?

Classic move of moms, caring, crying and nailing kids at the same time.. How do you react in a situation like this?

Me(sympathetically frustrated) - I told you mumma, I am going to enroll into PH.D this year. why do you keep asking me again  and again? and why are you crying?

Maa - Neha ( I have to use a fake name ) has got a job in a Multinational Company. why don't you try there?

Neha is my aunt's daughter. My mum is obsessed with her success.

"last night u wanted me to prepare for bank exams. what exactly do you want from me?" it was a logical question.. I get so confused :-/

Maa - I just want to see you settled. I know if you try in a good company, you will get a good job with a nice decent salary. what's the point of freelancing? sirf likhne se zindagi nai banti.. kuch krna bhi padta hai. You don't even get payed a decent amount! This is absolutely USELESS.
 
Me(finally screaming) - useless!!!! my writings seem useless to you? !! for god sakes, I am not really doing it for the pay, isey creativity boltey hai mumma! aap ku nai samjhti.........???...

and thus started an endless argument which finally ended with my mum crying about my unemployed state, and wailing in vain.

I always fail when it comes to explaining my philosophies on how to live life.. coz when mumma argues , I look like a homeless face, with theories so apocryphal.

I went on to finish my article. and continued with my doodles in the bedroom. simple notes, nudges, for the memory of self.. But the word useless got stuck in my head. So i thought of doing something usefull. The thought was followed by creation of this blog. However I wonder what's so use full when I continue to write here as well.

I move on with my search for an online life, I write the useless again, with a bit of a strife..